Thursday, February 24, 2011

Second Baby Blues

Just to warn you, this post is slightly hormone induced and emotional. I may change my mind, and take it down tomorrow. But it is also something that has been bugging me for some time, so for now I am just going to vent a little.
Now when I say second baby blues, it is not something that we have, it is about everyone else. We are anything but blue. We are probably even more excited this time, because we know how amazing it is to have a baby and to learn all about them. We don't have the first baby fears, just the joys that being a parent brings.
For some reason it seems to me, no one else feels the same way.
One of the few episodes of Scrubs I have seen was about the doctor announcing they were expecting their second baby. No one was as excited for them as they were when they were expecting their first baby. Very disappointing no one shared his excitement. So he started telling people it was his first baby so that everyone would be just as excited for him. And they were! Second and subsequent babies just are not celebrated like the first. Even though it was made to be funny, I understand exactly what he was going through.
Second baby is not asked about as much. Second baby receives nothing for gifts, other than what we (and Santa) have given it. Not that baby wants or needs anything, but it is hard to not feel that we are the only ones who think about this baby. Even I am not pampered like I was with Brady. It just seems different.
One of the main reasons I feel this way is lack of a shower or party for the baby. I love baby showers. I love the games, decorations, and of course cake. I love to throw baby showers and look forward to going to them. In fact, I am excited to be going to one this weekend.
I always have said that I found huge baby showers for second children a little unnecessary, but I guess I should have clarified. We had 3 different large showers for Brady, and got a ton of presents. For our second baby, I did not want that nor do we need that. But I think a baby sprinkle (instead of a shower), a diaper shower (always a need), or a sip and see are always great choices. I think every Mom and baby should be celebrated in some way, not just with gifts.
I am not sure if it is because we do not know the sex of the baby, or what, but I just feel like it is due to my all the sudden lack of friends. Seems like just a few months ago I was busy with different friends all the time, but now I got nothing. I have friends, but none that I am super close with and all are busy, and a lot live far away. I am trying to be better about calling friends and keeping up with them, so I can maintain my friendships. But my feelings are hurt by some, and I am really just not sure what I did.
Jeremy is my best-friend for a reason. He is sweet and encouraging. He does not care who loves the baby, he just knows that we will be able to give it all the love it needs. He keeps telling me he will throw me a shower, and I think he is quite serious. But that is not the point, not to mention against everything I know about baby shower etiquette. He also brings up how blessed we are that we need nothing for baby, and what we want we are able to buy. So true, but this is also not about the presents for me. It is about the baby, and how I am not feeling the love. I just don't want to show the baby it's baby book, and it wonder why Brady had 3 baby showers, and it did not have anything. Crazy?

I am so blessed to have been pregnant with not one but two babies. I am so blessed to have everything that we need for this baby. I am so blessed that we are to have the finances to be able to buy the other things we want for baby. I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me and our children so much, and is able to deal with my craziness. I am so blessed to have family and friends who love and care about me, even if they cannot read my mind. I am so blessed in life, and I am ready to focus on that, and what we have and not what we do not.
Okay, vent session over.

4 comments:

  1. This post made me cry as I am just as guilty as everyone else about not asking about the baby as much as with Brady. I could give a sip and see party for the baby when I am there. What do you think? I was actually sort of thinking that if you had a party, maybe I could be there for it. But, maybe I will throw it. Love, Mom

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  2. Girl I will hop on a plane tomorrow to throw you a sprinkle or sip and see or whatever you want!! You and Baby are LOVED and you should feel that for sure!! I am so sorry for any lack of excitment from my end.....I am pumped and I am so sad to read this. Now seriously tell me a date and I will put my happy butt on a plane! :-) Love you and baby and Brady!

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  3. Awe ya'll are so sweet! I would love to see you both! It is not about the people who are not here, my feelings are hurt by friends here. But, I am much better now. Needed to get stuff out. No longer going to stress, just focusing on baby! Love you both!

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  4. Melissa, I am just today catching up on your blog (busy season at work, plus mommy busy season). I know you were feeling sad that day (I think part hormones part just feeling like hey, this baby is important too feelings). I am super excited about your new baby!!!! I LOVE you so much and this baby is loved as much as Brady. I know what you mean, that the 2nd one is different. If you come to Houston anytime i will throw you a shower (maybe a sip and see like my friends had for Jordan). In any case. I love you and your baby and of course Brady and your wonderful husband!!!! XXOO Aunt Kristine

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